Don't get me wrong. I hate worms and viruses -- biological or electronic -- as much as the next person. And enough people have been taken by fraudulent e-mails for me to know it's no laughing matter. At least, for the most part it isn't.

Those who've ever taken a look in their junk mail folder, their eyes scanning past some of the more offensive subject lines, may realize its entertainment value. With its lines after lines of falsehoods and inane assertions -- begging and cajoling you to click, read, buy or believe -- you can't help but laugh in disbelief.

For me it's a game. On a slow news day, I'll conjure up an image of the Champion's front page with a headline like, "Paris Hilton vows not to write book until she reads one first." Thanks for the news tip, Taya Jaderborg, whoever you are. But here in Milton we're already bombarded enough with Hollywood gossip.

Some of the subject lines are pretty desperate cries for attention. I can just imagine the looks on passers' by faces if a headline like "Wal-Mart Declares Bankruptcy," screamed at them from inside newspaper boxes scattered across Milton (and its one and only location here opened but a few short years ago).

I could go on and on, just like the pages of my spam folder. As much as these spam writers completely disregard spelling, grammar and integrity, there's something compelling in their lines that, even if they'll never get you to click (and I really hope they don't), they'll at least make you laugh.

They go as far as to represent a world in chaos; a world where Mary Kate Olsen is guilty for Heath Ledger's death, the West Nile virus spreads in Europe and degree mills are accredited. I half-expect to read a subject line brashly stating "Milton's population to balloon to 1,000,000 in next five years." Or something like, "All retail establishments in Milton to leave in a huff."

A few that I found in my spam folder today (I just can't stop myself from peeking in there) had me in stitches.

"Angelina Jolie's lips explode," beckoned to me, as did "Teenage girl obviously having affair with bat," and "Existence of poor people a surprise, says Bush." (Bear with me; I never had my fill of tabloid stories as a child).

As amusing as they are, if these claims, and endless others like them, were found to be true, Angelina Jolie, her lips, and the rest of us would be write-offs, and the world even more doomed than it is already.

All computer users -- sitting in well-padded chairs in front of widescreen LCD monitors -- can really do is laugh in relief.

Imagine your junk mail as a news feed. Sounds ridiculous, even funny right? Well, let it serve as a reminder of how we don't want our world -- and certainly not Milton -- to end up.

A recent graduate of Sheridan College's journalism program, Joanna Phillips has just completed a three-month summer internship at the Champion.